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[24] Bente Kwatro

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Right now is the first 24 hours that I haven’t seen her. Although chatting and mobile calls are possible, it can’t beat being with her. I miss everything… and it’s killing me.

First night… and one of our not so funny joke came true. What that is, only the two of us knows. But we pulled through. 馃檪

I appreciate the effort. I really do… 馃檪

Thanks 馃槈 Itatago na lang kita sa pangalang “Marshmallow” 馃檪 lam mo na kung bakit! LOLS!

Pagpunta ko diyan… isang kumakalansing na APIR! ang handog ko sayo! Parang magkumpare lang… hehehe!

[Orange Juice] Happiness

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It’s not the food we eat, it’s who helped me cook it. 馃檪

It’s not the fancy place we’ve been, It can be as simple as a rooftop filled with satellites tuning into us.

It’s not the weather, I really feel the warmth when I’m with you.

Its not the long walk home, It’s how your hand perfectly fits into mine while walking.

It’s not the complicated things we discuss, It’s how we try to solve it.

It’s not the bus going home, It’s the feeling that I’ll be missing you each time I ride one.

It’s not the rain that soaked us wet, It’s the small black umbrella we shared.

I’ve been doing quite well lately, I have my reasons. Those reasons cannot be understood by many, as I can be burned at the stake if they judge me.

The past week has been great, conversations and small sweet things meant a lot to me. If this is a dream, please don’t wake me up, I’d rather spend my time dreaming than wake up to complete nothingness.

Life was harsh, we both know that. It’s as if our souls suffered the same fate in our past lives.

She stares into the night, while I stare in her eyes. I watch her closely as if we are bound by the cold mist that surrounds us.

I’m happy now. So… Happy 馃檪

[Pahabol] Nicole and Her Leukemia

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I came up with the idea of Nicole telling stuff about herself. Thanks to ate for sending me this video clip. It made my day. I miss home, I miss you all.

We found out Nicole’s leukemia last 2007. But you can see clearly that she’s healthy now. I think she only has less than ten months of chemotherapy. Thats more than ok, that’s great news!

I really miss her and her funny antics. One time she asked my Father a funny question. She saw a woman dying on HBO. She innocently asks my Tatay (Father)…

Nicole: Lolo, Bakit siya namatay? (Gramps, Why did she die?)

Lolo: Kasi matanda na siya. (Because she’s old)

Nicole: Parang ikaw Lolo? (Just like you gramps?)

Lolo: [in amazement, smiling to himself] Hindi pa (Not yet) [saying it in a funny tone]

LOL!

She’s a bright girl and Adrian (Her baby boy cuz) can look up to her someday. So without further ado, I would like to present Nicole Rose Glorioso. 馃檪

Medyo mahina ang kanyang pasensya sa harap ng camera kaya makikinig ninyo ang ate ko na nagtatanong ng pabulong sa kanya sa background. hehe!

[Opisina] Nakaw na sandali

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Nahihirapan na akong mag saayos ng oras ko sa trabaho. Naging matagumpay ako sa ipinangako ko sa aking sarili anim na buwan na ang nakaraaan na ako ang magiging pinakamabilis mag update ng press releases sa website na aking pinangangalagaan. Ngunit ang lahat ay may kapalit.

Nagsimula ako sa trabaho ko ng may dalang kaba sa aking dibdib. Hindi sana ako bagay sa trabaho kong ito kung wala akong alam sa mga website. Salamat na lang sa tulong ng mga naging kaibigan ko sa blogging ay lumawak pa ang aking kaalaman.

Hindi naman ako masipag, antukin nga ako sa trabaho. Ngunit dahil gusto kong makakita ng resulta ay pinagbuti ko ang aking pagtatrabaho.

Naging mahirap ang mga nagdaang araw para sakin. Hirap na akong bumangon sa kama at araw-araw na ginawa ng diyos ay parang namamagnet ako sa kama ko. Napatunayan ko na siguro sa office kung ano ang kaya ko, ngunit sa hindi maiwasang dahilan ay nagiging malaki ang aking alinlangan sa aking career.

Masaya naman ako, ok ang mga kasama kong pinoy dito. “Pinoy Mafia” kung bansagan kami ng ibang lahi dahil hindi kami naghihiwahiwalay. Mapa yosi o kape, sama-sama. Parang laging may bubugbugin. Pero wala naman, mabait naman lahat.

Hindi ko alam sa kanila pero burned out na ako.

I need a vacation… Sa Aman Pulo sana. hehe! o sa Maldives.

Minsan naiisip ko na sana naging robot na lang ako. Hindi napapagod, walang kunsensya, at walang pakiramdam.

I’m losing my grip.

Ngayong weekend, sisiguraduhin kong mag-eenjoy ako sa beach. Excited na ako sa sunset, sa petiks mode, at sa kwentuhan. Kelangang mag unwind. Mababaw nga siguro ako, pero naniniwala kasi ako na ang mga simpleng bagay talaga ang makakapagpa-appreciate sayo ng kung anong meron ka. Simple joys in life.

Hindi ako maglalangoy dahil malamig at ayaw kong may kasamang ibang lahi sa dagat. Minsan kasi eh nanghihipo sila sa ilalim ng tubig 馃槓 baka mapaaway pa ako at makulong. Sights, sounds, ang conversations… I’m looking forward to it.

Last year natuto na akong maging pasensyoso. Sana hindi na ako bumalik sa dati kong nakagawian. Ngayong taon ay pinipilit kong ihiwalay ang work ko sa personal kong buhay.

Masaya ako lately 馃檪 pagod lang ako kaya ako nagkakaganito. Magiging maayos din lahat sa mga nalalapit na araw. At…

Nasasabik ako sa Tuyo at itlog na pula na may kamatis huhuhu!

[Lung Cancer] Goodbye Mamay (Grandfather)

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Vivencio Casimbon

January 13, 1923 – March 23, 1997

Cancer used to be just a word for me, after all, I’m not a kind of guy who dwells in something that doesn’t interest me… Until that day.

It was 1997 when we found out that my grandfather has Lung cancer. A shocker because he has a healthy lifestyle, and He lives in the province, where fresh fruits and vegetables are abundant. He’s a farmer so that would also be like working while exercising.

His lung cancer was a result of his smoking habits, when I was young I used to see him tying the carabao to a tree while smoking a stick. So although he has a healthy environment, smoking became a big factor. ‘Sigarilyong Boss’, That was his brand. Until now I can still recall the Sigarilyong Boss Jingle on AM radio. Old school advertising that gives you LSS (Last song syndrome) all through out the day.

Mamay (as I call him) is a silent Lolo (Grandfather). He’s strict but he’s nice. I can still remember the fresh Lanzones that he brings home. He brings ‘a lot’ and when I say a lot, I mean 3 basket loads of sweet Lanzones that you can only have during the old days. It’s unlike the Lanzones we have now.

Santol, Avocado, Rambutan and Buko are also regular ‘Pasalubongs’ that he brings whenever he comes home or visits us in Lucena city. I miss those days. <sigh>

I barely knew my other grandfather (Amama) because he died when I was just 2 years old. I can remember vivid images of him when I was young. I know he also smokes. And I know he’s fond of his grandchildren because my brothers who knew him well tells me stories about him when we are having our brotherly drinking spree.

So to make the big family tree a small bonzai, And my story shorter than a sneeze, I have two grandfathers (duh?) but I grew up knowing just one.

Life isn’t easy when you have someone sick around you, especially if you are bound by blood, and if you have very close family bond. We all suffered back then, emotionally. I was just a highschool freshmen when it happened. Not too young not to understand, but not so old to handle the stress of seeing my grandfather slowly fade away.

Chemotheraphy, other scientific terms and stuff that I only hear and see in the movies are now a reality. Like a book, the story unfolds, Reality is here and the family elders must handle it.

During those times, I always see my mother praying in the altar (she’s religious) sometimes in tears. Nobody would like to see someone crying, especially your own mother. I think she already called all the saints names, hoping for some kind of divine intervention to take place. I was doing the same. Silently, by my own, in my room.

Months passed by and a dozen chemotheraphy helped kill some of the cancer cells my grandfather has. He’s not getting any better, but it’s helping extend his life. The cancer’s damage has been done.

Mamay withered like an old oak tree, you can see his struggle, and his will to survive.

On one sunny afternoon, he passed away. Peacefully.

He just lied on his deathbed, and everyone started to kiss him, as if that was the last thing he was waiting for. After the last goodbye’s, he closed his eyes. Everyone cried so hard that the neighbors came, they knew Mamay is gone.

I remember running upstairs, getting a fresh piece of ‘Good Morning Towel’ to wipe my tears.

He died peacefully, but I wished that he stayed just a day longer.

Grasping the reality that Mamay is gone ang coping up with the reality that we’ll never see him again is one agonizing experience we all have to endure. But we have to be strong for our Lola (Grandmother).

Sometimes I still wonder if he is still alive here with us. He must be very entertained with Nicole and Adrian’s antics (they are his Great grandson and daughter).

I know Mamay is up in heaven now. Smiling. I’m happy now knowing that he is not suffering anymore, but sad at the same time because he had to endure that pain while he’s still alive.

Everybody dies a little everytime they lose someone very dear to them. I’m not afraid to die, But It chills my spine just to hear someone I love pass away. It’s times like these that you see how much your family really matters.

Death is inevitable, but don’t think about death. Think about your life and how you are living it. Touch as many lives as posible, it’s worth your time.

Spread the love… Parang Chiz Whiz lang.

Hindi ko pa rin natapos ng seryoso ampf 馃槓

P.S. I Love you Mamay, Inana, Amama, and all our family elders who came, saw, and conquered our hearts.

note: For more inspirational stories about cancer, please visit ifoundme, Bluepanjeet and revsiopao. 馃檪

[LPS] Last Person Syndrome

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Jonas: Pare ano ba ang katumbas ng LSS pero tao ang naiisip mo?

Mix: LPS pare…

Jonas: Ano yun?

Ang LPS ay…

Isang hindi maipaliwanag na penomena kung saan ang iyong naaalala ay ang huling taong iyong nakasama. Maaaring isang kaibigan, kasintahan, isang kamag-anak o kaaway.

Ayon sa mga dalubhasang siyentipiko, Ang LPS ay parang LSS (Last Song Syndrome) din, ngunit ang imahe ng isang tao ang naglalaro sa isipan ng tao, sa halip na musika na huling napakinggan.

Ang LPS ay maaaring maging sanhi ng stress kung ang taong palaging sumasagi sa isipan ay ang kaaway. At maaari namang maging maaliwalas ang pakiramdam, lalo na kung ang iniisip ay ang kasintahan o ang taong pinakamamahal.

Depende sa mga pangyayari, ang LPS ay maaaring magtagal ng 1 araw, hanggang sa hindi masabing panahon. Maaari din namang maging sanhi ng matinding prustrasyon kung ang taong iniisip ay hindi makamit, o hindi makasama.

Wala pang gamot sa kakatwang pangyayari na ito.

Jonas: Ah ok… tara kape tayo.

Mix: Teka… Kamusta na kaya si… [put your desired name here] 馃槓 LPS

Hindi nalutas ang problema. Kulang daw sa substanya.

[Me tom贸 un voto] Punto blanco la verdad

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Revelaciones comenz贸 temprano en el d铆a, a mediod铆a, hasta la medianoche. Pens茅 que no pod铆a manejarlo, pero la honestidad sigue siendo la verdad 煤ltima.

Pasando, cierro los ojos. Es como me veo a m铆 mismo en el espejo, s贸lo que ahora veo claramente.

Gracias a mis amigos. Me pueden haber perdido algunos, pero gan茅 mucho en el camino. Yo soy el que soy. Aceptar que para m铆.

Mantente al d铆a si es posible, la licencia si no puede manejarlo. Para forzar a que se te ponen en una jaula. Libertad, lo tiene en sus manos, usar sabiamente.

Hable su mente a la libertad de su coraz贸n. El mundo entero es su escenario.

Yo descanso mi caso.

[Nakakafrustrate mag translate pramis] 馃槮

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